WOMEN: please wear high heels unless you don’t know how to walk in high heels in which case stay home and softly gnaw on bottles of shampoo
also please show no less than 64.87% of your boob and no more than 27.94%
stop having arms
when people ask you to smile, blowjob them
my tummy itches make that stop
i will think of new problems for you to have tomorrow
Jeremy Glass, We Can’t Get Lost Anymore (via blackbruise)
this is why I don’t have a fucking cell phone(via white-wid0w)
this is stupid as fuck like with cell phones u have access to pretty much all of the information in the world at your fingertips and you can communicate with millions of people and ur complaining that u cant jump off some rusty ass bridge or swim in the ocean with ur dick flopping about freely????? why are u jumping off bridges in the first place ur gonna get urself killed and ur gonna get some nasty ass infection from having ur crotch wide open in the ocean do u have any idea how much bacteria is in ocean water this is the dumbest thing i have ever seen yall are so pretentious smh(via vajoochie)
is this op trying to say that people don’t swim anymore because they have phones??? ‘cause that’s dumb as hell
if i wanted to go skinny dipping i’d leave my phone on the beach
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) (1983) Vs. Seven Nation Army (2003)
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS IS LITERALLY THE SOUND OF COOL
Press play and you will find yourself wearing a long black coat on a windy city street holding a firearm that won’t be invented for another 50 years, your voice will be a full octave deeprer AND YOUR HAIR WILL LOOK PERFECT.
This gave me chills in places I didn’t even know I had.
This HR dept doesn’t negotiate with Terrorists.
The ending is worth clicking for.